If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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