Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
