I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
