I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
