and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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