and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
