I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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