went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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