Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
