Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
