i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
