yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My cat gives me a boner
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
