I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
