Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My first STD was from a foam party
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
