he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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