Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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