I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Drunk is not a location!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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