obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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