is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
