is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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