the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
