he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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