the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
