all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
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