This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
