Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
