You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
