Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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