let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
