so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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