K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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