Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize