I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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