Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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