You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
