Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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