I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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