The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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