I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
