just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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