so explain again why im purple
no
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The uberlube is also flammable
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
