apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
