I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
