if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
