She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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