my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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