I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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