I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
