smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
