Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
