I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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