I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
