By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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