Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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