better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
