I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
