should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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