I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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