Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
