We're facebook friends in real life
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
How external is "for external use only"?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
