Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
