Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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