Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
