I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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