i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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