did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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