im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
