we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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