the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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