I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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